THE DUNNY AND THE CHOKO VINE

AUSTRALIA DAY, THE DUNNEY AND THE CHOKO VINE.
A LITTLE LATE for AUSTRALIA DAY, BLAME THE CRICKET, THE NEW GRAND SON, THE FLOODS, OLDTIMERS SYNDROME OR ANYTHING ELSE THAT MOVES.

This piece of Australiana has been flogged to death, (SEE A PREVIOUS POST), so handle it folks.

112 Palmer Street, WOOLLOOMOOLOO, AINT THERE NOW. About 1945 / 59, we lived on and off, it was Grand Ma’s house, a Tenement actually. And you guessed it, it had the ‘classic little room’ right down the back yard, complete with the daily newspaper, end of story. It was resplendently covered with a shroud of CHOKO VINE, laden with fruit, the clean skin variety. I have often cogitated why they grow so profuse in the vicinity of the DUNNEY, PERHAPS IT IS THE ESTERS OF OZONE, MIXED WITH OTHER GROWTH ODORS.
CHOKOS’ are described as being a vine vegetable, I will dispute this assumption, I WILL SUGGEST THAT this plant is AC / DC, it can be ambidextrous, alternative, it can be a fruit or a vegetable, I describe it as a VEGAPPLE. AND, I will prove my theory by handing down Grannies’ secret recipes’, you mustn’t tell a soul now, OK.

THE VEGETABLE ASSUMPTION;
WOOLLOOMOOLOO CHOKO KILPATRICK “MORNAY”, Grand Ma Isabella Lovegrove, nee Menzies.
You will need several smaller chokos’, sliced into halves seed removed. Bacon, BEGA CHEESE, (Matured), ‘Woster Sauce, garlic, red CHILLI, (mild) and pepper and salt make up the other ingredients. For Italian people; substitute the bacon with thicker slices of PANCETTA / PROSUITTO, use mozzarella cheese, sliced or grated.
Large pot, parboil the halved “vegetables” till tender, not too soft, drain. Bacon sliced into portions so as to cover the choko, cheese grated, garlic and chili finely sliced.
At this stage you put another Penny in the coal gas meter, (I got plenty if you need some). Fry the bacon until not quit crisp, place on absorbent paper, place the halved chokos in a baking tray, maybe a cup cake baking tray. A tea spoon of ‘Woster in the cavity, and some garlic and chili, pepper and salt. Bacon to cover the chokos, grated cheese, BEGA please, place in slow oven and bake until cheese is just runny.
Remove and serve with a lamb chop, hogget of course, sprinkle with more ‘Woster, YUM BLOODY YUM, to me ethnic mates, multi beano.

THE FRUIT THEORY;
GRAND MA’S PEARS IN SYRUP, A LA WOOLLOOMOOLOO.
The chokos are peeled and the seed removed, parboil until they are just tender, remove and drain and place in the frig. We make a syrup with sugar and water to a runny texture, use warm water. Add some treacle. (Grand Ma’s secret).
Grand Ma would have made a plum pudding, she would pour the syrup over the chilled “CHOKO FRUIT’ and return to the ice box until cold. Some pudd, some now called PEARS AND SYRUP, some vanilla custard and BLOODY YUM YUM again.
THE DUNNY AND THE CHOKO REIGN, THEY LIVE ON.
Want more crappy yarns, (www.johnfarls.com), email me some back, (johnfarls@bigpond.com).